We like to decorate for Christmas. We don’t always have a lot of time, but we like to try. With a 110 old Victorian and a 150 year old commercial building, we get plenty of opportunity. We’d have put up 10 trees this year if we had them…and the lights…and the time…
We are thus(ly) always on the prowl for cheap decorations.
My wife picked up a box of assorted ornaments and other Christmas stuff at the thrift store recently…of course, finding a box of cheap decorations BEFORE Christmas might be a warning of something sinister…
What happened to the family that owned this box before? Why get rid of it now? What could possibly be wrong with a box of ornaments?
Well…we may have our answer. It contained something more dangerous than simple decorations. Something diabolical in its simple temptation to unleash its destructive power!
It contained this:
See, this thing was in a small box and had to be put together. It falls apart completely…down to its component pieces, if you even look at it sideways. Seriously, a small breeze, somebody bumping the counter, or even turning the radio up too loud and you have bells, bits of metal, candles, and naked baby angels flying all over the place. Just a bump…or a harsh look, and parts and candles are rolling all over the shop.
And apparently the idea is…to set this thing on FIRE!
The heat from the flames will presumably cause the naked baby butts to spin around ringing the bells…
So…the unstable thing…the thing that won’t stay together…the thing that violently disintegrates with literally no provocation, I’m supposed to set on FIRE and let it SPIN around!
I’ll let you know how it goes…